An Illusion of Sakura: The Place Called Tokyo
by whitesakura
Summary: Once, the Sakurazukamori knew a boy who liked sakura. Years have passed, and the sakura still blooms, but what changes have occurred between Seishirou and his prey? A reflection piece. One-shot.


Disclaimer: I do not own X. 

Warnings: Shounen-ai. Angst. Knowledge of Tokyo Babylon highly recommended prior to reading this fic.

Notes: This was partially written to "Cyber-Slum" from .hack//sign's OST2. The song's mood was perfect for my vision of Tokyo. In other news, this fic contains enigmatic conversation and subtle/vague symbolism – my specialties. ^_~ 

An Illusion of Sakura: The Place Called Tokyo

The sakura is beautiful.

            Seishirou Sakurazuka smiled into the night, and took another drag of his cigarette. Tokyo never ceased to amuse him. The city was much like the famed New York; it never slept. He exhaled a plume of gray smoke, and watched it melt into the gloom of the night. But it wasn't very gloomy at all; the city below him sparkled and shone, the neon lights flickered, and danced like mating fireflies.  It was a lovely irony; no matter how hard the human race tried to distance itself from its basest nature, it always failed. 

            He really loved Tokyo.

            Only in Tokyo could a person dance the dance of death and laugh. 

            Subaru…his dear Subaru-kun used to laugh once. A laugh not born of bitterness or hysteria. No…Subaru Sumeragi, the boy who saw all the corruption of humanity, who could still forgive and smile. It was a smile that both drew him, and repulsed him. 

            _What would you have done Subaru…if I had not given you the truth? _

            Seishirou mused, as he leaned against one of the bars in the building's metal work. The skyscraper was just being built. It would be but one of many additions to the iron monstrosity people enclosed themselves in, this paradise called Tokyo. Trying to protect themselves from imagined dangers when all they did was lock themselves in with other treacherous beasts.

            _Would you have contented yourself with an illusion as they do?_

            Seishirou flicked the burning cigarette into the night, watching its orange ember burn, growing more and more distant as it descended onto the pavement far below. 

            _I've given you a gift, Subaru-kun, don't you see?_

            "Seishirou-san."

            The Sakurazukamori wasn't really surprised. How could he be, when the marks on his prey glowed eternally? When Seishirou did not hold that emotion? When Seishirou held no emotion at all.

            "Hello, Subaru-kun," Seishirou smiled and took off his shades. Subaru flinched when he saw the blinded eye. Guilt. 

            "I've finally found you, after all this time." The brief look of half-shock and remorse was suddenly erased. Subaru had gotten better at masking his emotions; he was no longer the boy who wore his heart on his sleeve.

            "Hmm…you've been searching for that long? And here I thought you had gotten bored of me years ago," Seishirou laughed and offered his prey one of his cigarettes. Subaru's glare did not waver. Seishirou's eyes widened in surprised when the white onmyouji advanced toward him and held out a lighter. "Subaru-kun, what are you doing with that lighter? Don't you know smoking is bad for you?"

            Silence hung between them as Seishirou took Subaru's offer despite his scolding words. The Sakurazukamori inhaled and sighed in pleasure. Fine cigarettes and sweets – they were two of the few things he truly enjoyed.

            "It used to burn," Subaru hesitatingly stated, "The first time I tried it. It made me feel like I was drowning, and the pain was like the one in my heart the day you killed Hokuto-chan. Why do you smoke, Seishirou-san?"

            "Since it disagrees with you so, I could ask you the same question."

            "Why did you betray me?" Subaru countered with another question instead of responding. He guarded himself well.

            "I never betrayed you. It was your own eyes that deceived you."

            Subaru's hand came over his right cheek, ghosting the flesh beneath his blinded eye. Seishirou frowned…it was a pity that /Kamui/ had been the one to leave that particular scar. 

            "Blind?"

            "Subaru-kun," Seishirou clasped his warm hand over Subaru's, his breath thick against Subaru's ear, "What do you want from me?"

            "Tell me. Tell me why."

            Seishirou sighed. "Well Subaru-kun, do you still love this Tokyo?"

            "What?"

            "Do you love this Tokyo?"

            "Yes."

            "Then you haven't changed at all…even after all these years, you are blind."

            "Blind? No, not anymore, you changed me Seishirou-san," Subaru gripped Seishirou's wrist.

            "My dear Subaru-kun. Tell me, who did you fall in love with?" Seishirou's lips brushed against the other man's cheek, "Was it me?"

            Subaru shuddered.

            "Or was it my illusion?" Seishirou's other arm struck out to twist one of the Sumeragi's arms. "I've given you sight Subaru, realize this. I hated you. Hated you because pain never seemed to touch you. The people of Tokyo - they are evil and deceitful, and their sorrows, you did not truly see them. Somehow, you remained untouched, inhuman. I've given you this gift Subaru…the emotion of sorrow which even I had once. But that was long ago, before even you. Now I am my mother's heir, and even that feeling has flown away to leave me numb. Your happiness I could not stand," Seishirou caressed the arm, "because it was false, because the world you hoped in…it was an illusion."

            "Seishirou-san." Seishirou let go of Subaru's arm. "You are wrong. You are in pain too…this sorrow, I can feel it from you, even though I may have never known the true you," the Sumeragi withdrew. "You must be very lonely…did you cause me pain, because you wanted me to know yours?"

            "Do not fill your head with such thoughts Subaru-kun. My heart is empty."

            "No…I don't believe that. But I can't give you that type of understanding, Seishirou-san. There'll always be a distance. No one can know another's pain, because their pain is their own. You should know, that I care…but even I can't not make you feel just because I do."

            "You really do love me then, Subaru. You were always so cute." Subaru remained silent, and closed his eyes. "Once I asked you, if the sakura was beautiful, and you answered 'yes'. You are foolish to love such a deadly thing – the thing that feeds on the corpses of others. Still, you have deceived yourself."

            "No Seishirou-san, it is you who can not comprehend my sincerity…can not accept it…only fear it. I know my own heart, Seishirou-san," Subaru's eyes opened, revealing their mismatched colors, "Do you?"

            Seishirou turned away and donned on his shades, "You amuse me, Subaru-kun. Perhaps I will let you live a little longer." He jumped down from the scaffolding and was carried away by the wind. Subaru watched the figure disappear like an impossible shadow into the steel metropolis.

"The sakura is deadly. Even though I can truly see now… you are still beautiful to me… Seishirou-san."

The lights of Tokyo shimmered.

The End

Thanks for taking the time to read this. Pretty please, leave a **review**.


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